Hiatus or Hammer Down 8.17.22
August has not been the move. Time has somehow passed so fast and so slow at the same time. I got caught up with a sinus infection and a new job as a nanny. I haven’t worked in 6 months due to a break for my mental and physical health. I have never taken this big of a break before. The biggest ones I have taken were for school or between jobs but those only lasted about 3-4 weeks at a time. I am NOT someone who takes breaks. I don’t know how to relax. I sometimes push myself too far and would often burnout. This has been the first time in a long time I have been able to actually heal fully. During this healing process I have taken up web development, cross stitching (which I think I’m getting pretty good at), digital art, a craft club, fitness regiment, book clubs, and getting therapy on the regular. I specifically chose a nanny position since 1)I actually get a lunch break 2)I can wear whatever I want within reason and 3) it’s part time enough where I can code and be a social media assistant on the side. For once I am doing something because I want to not because I think I have to. I want to be a coder. I want to be a front end web developer. I want to create graphics. I want responsive websites. I want to be in a place where I can be creative and autonomous. I want all of these things but I wasn’t sure how to find it until I took a break. Like I’ve said before, I don’t know if this is the path for me. I don’t feel like I am qualified since I didn’t get the degree or I don’t look like a “typical” coder/web developer. I was never the computer kid (unless you count websites like Disney Channel Games) or a gamer (if you count all the Mario Parties). I was also not the creative type. Yeah I liked to read and write but I never thought I was good at it. I’m not the artist, my brother is. Yeah I took a couple photography classes in high school AND got a 5 on the AP exam but I didn’t create art from scratch like my brother. I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. During COVID, my mind has changed so much and it’s been THE most stressful experience undoing and rebuilding my plan. All I know right now is I want to code. I love it. I never expected to see myself in this field or doing these code alongs and projects. I never pictured myself writing a blog. I haven’t gotten much coding done in August so I don’t have any cool new tricks to show you yet. I think it’s time to end the Hiatus and hammer down.
Thanks for listening